Why is he considered a dick? I haven't watched CNN (or any of the 24-hour-news-cycle peddlers) in years.

You're gonna love…myguillotine!

As of six days ago, Snopes still counted that story as unproven. Is there something new?

Trump: Justin, it's The Donald. Condolences. Our terror attacks are big league. Yours are small time.

I thought we boycotted France…?

Not to mention the Ghost of the Ghost of D Boon.

I love that movie.

Same with King Ralph!

Man, do you remember all those times we hit the streets with Nordstrom, speaking truth to face powder?

Oh, I'm sure it's already been said. I'm also sure that it bears repeating.

Oh, and speaking of terms and definitions, isn't it great that President Trump has finally dubbed it "radical Islamic terrorism"? Now that we've gotten that out of the way, I look forward to a completely peaceful society!

Grey Goose? Is that a Russian vodka?! If not, get a Russian one.

It's okay, we're all still learning how to navigate this brave new world.

Don't forget about "cuck"!

It's so unfair what they're doing to him! He won! Get over it!

Wait, did Donald Trump win the election? I can't remember. Maybe I should ask Sean Spicer.

But, Krusty, why now? Why not twenty years ago?

Before Trump went on Jerry Rude and the Bathroom Bunch, he told the infamous shock jock that he could make fun of his legendary love of cashews.

Has anyone seen The Tickle King yet, or is that going to premiere on HBO?

I did, too, just recently. I… don't know what to say.