Had a stroke, huh?

So, in this analogy, Fox News is one of the biggest on the block, right? And that means that Fox News is part of the…wait for it…LAMESTREAM MEDIA!

Too young. Remember, conservatives hate young people too. Once she hits that sweet 25-35 spot, she'll be all over Fox.

And?

Pizza 'n pop, bro. How do you not see the connection?

"Is Greta that bad? … she's a Scientologist."

Sorry to make an ass out of u and me, but were you too young to remember Fox News during W.'s presidency? Normalizing abhorrent behavior is serious business.

Dennis Miller? He makes Bill Hicks look like Gallagher made love to Carrot Top amidst a pile of biology textbooks set aflame!

Nope. She was the first to jump ship. However, in Trump's America, women are just eye candy suitable for birthing, so the Fox News audience probably won't notice much of a difference.

After Jon Stewart dressed him down on national televsion, I was hoping that Tucker Carlson would retire to a corn field somewhere.

Even the stray cat whose owner died recently and my wife and I are trying to adopt? His name tag says "Tucker".

The Irish-American, neoconservative Superfriends you never asked for!

Can't we just have one flawless thing? I mean, I'm a 35-year-old white male, living in Southern California. Don't I at least deserve flawlessness?

As if we needed more evidence that news media in this country is seriously fucked. And some people will see this as a "win" for their side or whatever.

I've got an idea: Stop making Star Wars movies. Boom. Problem solved.

Ah, you're right! I thought Halloween 1 and 2 took place in '81 for some reason.

So it doesn't line up with the Laurie Strode theory, huh? That's too bad.

You can say that again, sir!

As you should have, my friend.

Taylor Hanson is in a supergroup with James Iha, Adam Schlesinger and Bun E. Carlos.