Some distracting music…
The music was gawdawful at parts. I get that it was supposed to be a sort of Hitchcockian swirling score, but it ramped up at the wrong moments (particularly one scene with Nick Cage going up the stairs to his house) and oversold scenes that didn't need to be.

Vituperative
I had to look that one up, Nathan. Good work, indeed.

I think they're talking about Rocky Horror.

The Six-Way Moustache
I have used the Six-Way Moustache, and I can proudly say, it lived up to its name.

Like a dog lying on the corner, they're gonna bite you, and never warn you. Look out! They'll tear your insides out. 'Cuz everybody hates a tourist, especially one who thinks it's all such a laugh. And the chip stained grease will come out in the bath.

Please Front Less.
No one needs this much fronting.

Wait, he's been doing alt-text on these photos all this time? Is this an AV Club thing? Am I going to have to go through every article now for delicious alt-text nuggets? Aw, hell, there goes my weekend.

I liked Tadpole for its smallness of scope and scale. It might have worked better without John Ritter, just because of the baggage he brings to the role.

See, I *loved* The Life Aquatic. I hated the Royal Tenenbaums.

Unbreakable…
…is the movie that I've defended the most for some reason.

Why is Celine Dion always hanging out with her dad, anyway?
I don't think I've ever heard My Heart Will Go On in its entirety, ever. Heck, I didn't know how it went until someone pointed out that it was on the radio once.

Huh…
…ever notice how his bald spot disappears and re-appears? How does he do that?

Gotta go back and watch this again…
I remember seeing this in theatres and being unimpressed as a lad. I think part of the disappointment came from being absolutely convinced that it was based on Cinemaware's Rocket Ranger.

That'll be the text of my next personal ad.

It's beautiful.

A close second…
…was Aimee Mann, who was "sick of doing Magnolia songs" and pretty much just played songs off her dull new album.

Damn Morrissey…
…I got dumped at a Morrissey concert at the Fillmore in Denver during his 2002 concert tour. The guy I was seeing put out a new personal ad that a friend pointed me to that morning, and I asked about it right before Morrissey stepped on stage.

Adaptation was a waste of time…
…and a huge disappointment. Kaufman does best when he isn't jerking himself off (literally and metaphorically, I know) in his damn films. While this goes the Woody Allen route of using a surrogate character for his kvetching, you have to wonder how interesting this all is going to be.