So… FOX News uses Maroon 5's music because it's crappy?

Quotes left out of the Trespass news conference:

LAST MAN STANDING JOKE TEMPLATE:

You'd think Reed Hastings would have seen a movie or TV show about brazen corporate decisions ruining companies or something.

It's a Columbus Day miracle!

I'm guessing those rowdy friends are that way because of inbreeding.

Well this isn't cromulent news.

Sorry, Nick, but I'm sure that critics weren't anticipating seeing Bucky Larson. In fact, and I'm going out on a limb here, I would wager that they did NOT want to see your movie.

Maybe someday, Guy Incognito II. Maybe someday.

"Super Bowl Fans Rumored to Watch, Enjoy Halftime Show"

OUR LONG NATIONAL NIGHTMARE IS OVER.

The character Alex looks as uncomfortable being on the show as I do knowing Whitney will never read my nerd rage.

Mark Ruffalo's mother warned him that making that face would cause it to freeze. And he did; he had a stroke.

But can you spray processed meat products out of a can? *not a rhetorical question*

Processed cheese foods can be QUITE the sexual aphrodisiac.

I'm glad SOMEONE'S shielding young minds from full-on frontal nerdity.

I hope one critic writes that they have a "hart on" for Hart of Dixie. And then they will be bludgeoned.

I don't think ABC is totally dismissing Christians. Who else would watch the sexist, trapped-in-a-vault-for 15-years show "Last Man Standing"?

It took the DEA YEARS to figure out that a man with the nickname "Jimmy Henchman" was involved in illegal activity.

Well, if the Kardashians can have their own app..