I think they'll throw Tim Kane out there again. They know what the Trump voters are looking for: bilingual affability!

They didn't give him the real nuclear codes, they just programmed the launch system to play a little "eeeeeeeeeeBLEW" sound whenever he enters "8675309".

It's actually spelled "Bowliginna Pandas"

And for some reason, the film takes place in Aruba.

Weird, that was already the title of my documentary about swordfighters that hold the rapier with their butt and compete in a darkened room.

MATT LAUER: Mr. Morgan, a growing group of bipartisan voices have suggested you may not truly have America's interests at heart as you are not an citizen of the United States, and in fact, it is quite possible that there may be legal problems with you assuming that role. Do you care to respond to that fact?

Well it would have to be 69 porn exclusively so it makes sense when you flip upside-down.

As I recall, you could make the 3D maze use any picture you wanted for the walls/floor/ceiling, so it could just be a tunnel of Clintons if you wanted.

Sort of makes the question too easy if "Moon" is already in the answer, if you ask me. Plus, could Jeopardy suffer a strongly worded editorial in The Washington Times and survive as a prime-time game show?

Trump's photo-ops with businesses are a lot less than they seem. The Carrier plant didn't decide not to move to Mexico, they just moved fewer jobs to Mexico than they were planning on in exchange for some big ol' tax breaks that Hoosiers will now have to pay for. He took credit for saving jobs at another company…

Snopes couldn't confirm.

I believe you pay into a Health Savings Account so that when Trumps gold-plated mecha-alligators come for you, the hospital can drain that to treat your injuries, and also take everything else you own.

I remember the 2016 campaign. Hillary Clinton was not at all well-liked. The warmest reception she could have expected from the majority of her supporters was begrudging acceptance of what had been considered inevitable. My guess is that she could have expected crowds as big or a bit smaller than Trump's.

SPOILER ALERT!

Ordinarily, I bitch about "tours" that only have five or so stops (or 10 stops in five places) but this one happens to come by me so eat it, loser cities!!!!!!!!!!!111

Not a big red bean paste fan.

As Donald said to Melania
As he profited off the country,
The biggest fuckheads, period.
Nobody else even comes close.
Believe you me.
You know it,
I know it,
Everyone knows it.
Dishonest CNN doesn't want you to know
Just how massive our fuckheads are.
Sad.

I cannot imagine a Correspondent's Dinner where anyone who is less that totally sycophantic is allowed to speak.

Well, there was also that ribbon-cutting ceremony with the "Mission Accomplished" banner for the house GOB promised could be built in just two weeks, and when the ribbon is cut the house immediately falls apart as the ribbon was the only thing holding the house together and GOB says he got screwed and it isn't his…

I love Year Zero. It's sledgehammer criticism to be sure, but an interesting work of art nonetheless. In general I love the sound of that album too — all hip-hop beats and digital noise, keeping just enough of that ol' NIN guitar crunch. Great, highly underrated album.