Hey, hey. I never said that I don't like staring at the TV for hours, only moving to scratch myself. Don't libel me like that.

I stopped reading this when I realized I haven't watched anything on ABC in years, and even Sean's trademark snark couldn't make me care.

Yeah. It's actually a pretty solid list. I can't believe 2001 is on there.

Well, not usually: 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wik…

"Oh, don't worry, Community will return… in the spring." *Greenblatt puts Community on a giant spring, launches it into the Sun, laughs maniacally*

He hasn't already?

Have faith in yourself. I think most of knew what you were driving at pre-edit. That is, Billy Crystal's shitty imitations of black people are, in fact, not funny and kind of racist.

@avclub-c65a46c16b70bf886e62e791cd4a80b3:disqus Aw yeah, forgot about that one. I haven't seen it, but it looks like Oscar bait.

Also, Gladiator, Forrest Gump, Oliver!, etc.

Don't worry, Tree of Life won't win. Although I don't know what will. Much like the current GOP primary field (at least until recently), no one looks poised to win but someone has to. The Descendants seems to be the kind of family drama the Academy loves, but something about it is a little off.

This was pretty good, although I've successfully avoided Billy Crystal for so long that I can't really remember if it's a decent impression.

@avclub-64f027640f63616a277e92096313264f:disqus Not just hot, but "provocative and seductive," which are about the 2 worst words in the "attractive" lexicon he could have chosen.

Yeah, but that's canceled out by the whole "pinky swear" thing, which is indescribably creepy. It's like something out of a Lifetime movie.

You know the story is bad when you read the first paragraph and the only silver lining is, "well, at least she's over 18."

PLEASE?

Did we decide not to like the Hold Steady and I missed the meeting?

I've also got some pretty killer Epic of Gilgamesh references. E.g., "Nice moves, Enkidu." It makes sense in context.

"No man blinded me!"

Funny you should mention:

Also, a good headline for this would be "Area Woman Not Keisha Knight Pulliam."