But I don't think they've interviewed David Fincher or Jesse Eisenberg recently. If they give Social Network an F, won't that ruin everyone's favorite conspiracy theory?

Where the fuck is your Social Network review?
There. I said it. Or, um, asked it. Anyway, I feel better.

Boy, I'll tell you.
They only come out at night… or, in this case, uh, the daytime.

Douche-chill.

A trick is something a whore does for money.

Or it could be your colon. I'd want to get in there and find some answers.

"Not the next U2"

The Reader deserves credit for being the only Oscar-nominated movie to have never actually existed.

keptsimple chose to like Vampires Suck of his own free will.

Vampires Suck
is the Dracula: Dead and Loving It of my generation. Get with the times, Grandpa O'Neal.

Jackman was just terrible. A lot of fanboys complained about his height, but that was really the least of the problems. Did anyone find him convincing as a grizzled, mentally tortured killer?

Meh. I'm not a fan of Leon. Although that has less to do with Portman's presence and more to do with the fact that Jean Reno's character has unexplained magical powers. Granted, this wasn't the first movie to introduce us to a badass assassin, then cheat by allowing him to accomplish all of his badass…

Hey, my opinion is based on plenty of knowledge. To wit, the knowledge that the two aforementioned actresses received their acting lessons from mid 90s text-to-speech software.

Am I the only one who thought the first two were pretty awful, as well? Bad casting (and I'm not just referring to Berry), dull costumes, and poorly staged action sequences.

Natalie Portman AND Kristen Stewart?
I don't know anything about The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, but judging by the actresses gunning for the role, I'm assuming that this Salander character is described using such terms as "dull," "monotone," and "coma-inducing."

Not that it makes the title any less ridiculous, but I'm pretty sure that "Infinite Undiscovery" is the original Japanese title.

Don't forget the club sauce.

I actually liked Zelda II more than Zelda I. Although I like most of later Zeldas more than either of the NES entries.

Wait, I thought the games were about shooting zombies and really shitty, outdated control schemes. Well, mostly the latter. They should call it Whythefuckcantimoveandshootatthesametime-hazard, amirite?

I'm pretty sure the game is called "Resident Evil" in the English-language localization only. As I recall, the games are called "Bio-hazard" in Japan, not that that makes any more sense.