Shit, I'm 31 and I'll play the fuck out of some Nazi Zombies on Call of Duty. Best part about that whole stupid franchise.

Especially the one who rips out his own throat. I nominate Taylor Lautner. It's the part you were born to play, baby!

More than just difficult, it'd be ballsy as shit, and I doubt any studio would take the risk. It's essentially a hard-R Hunger Games.

No, he was Just Joshin'.

Maybe the AV Club staff has been replaced by reverse parodists that can only parody at night!

SKINEMAX used RED SHOE DIARIES

CHECKMATE, MAXTHIESTS.

Cinemax is owned by Michael Moore?

I don't think I've ever gained so much respect and lost it so quickly for someone like I did after hearing about Mayim Bialik. It went like this:

I nearly got suspended for doodling Kenny from South Park being impaled by a flagpole in 10th grade - they settled for two weeks detention instead. I also had to talk to a counselor who was brought in to make sure I wasn't going to impale anyone's head on a flagpole. Ah, high school…

So what I'm taking away from all this is… there's still hope for the hard-R Blade/Punisher team-up I've been dreaming about since I was 15.

No, but my agency is just as pointless.

Oh yeah, I've been to that "library" before. They even have private booths where you can "read".

Goddamn, that shit gets annoying. I have a government job and last week a friend sent me a link to a cool clothing company that sells nerdy t-shirts, and when I clicked on the link it said "Web Page Blocked: Pornography."

The addendum states: Why negotiate with an omnipotent being when you can punch him in the face?

My favorite line from that episode: "Roger Meyers Senior, the gentle genius behind Itchy and Scratchy, loved and cared about almost all the peoples of the world."

This is different.

Do they believe such heresy as "Tom Cruise wasn't really in Days of Thunder?"

No, Christian Scientists don't believe in healing anyone. They'll let a healthy kid die of a minor infection. Which is funny because that Jesus fellow was notorious for healing people.

I always figured you had to be rich, or at least well off, to convert, or at least to "get anywhere" in the religion. From what I understand, it requires more and more money for each level you advance. Even Mormons don't do that shit.