I loved the security at that hospital.

Great idea — maybe there's a whole Game of Thrones level of alliances and power struggles going on amongst the diners that we never see! The last two people who tried to rule the iron skillet have been murdered after all.

Or tell them there's free coffee at the bottom.

New Game! Under the Dome MadLibs

Do we know if Sheriff DJ is dead? I mean, he survived the last time he was shot in the shoulder (if he lives, he's gonna have a hell of a time getting through metal detectors).

And now, apparently, even the nipple pads budget has run out.

Magnets.

It's not quite "The Following" hate watch awful, but it does have a Dada-ist, MadLibs quality that makes you feel like you're high.

So close: 7/8. But you couldn't have known that resurrected girl would become so assimilated that she too is no longer providing any useful information of any kind.

I don't know why everyone was so mad at Sheriff DJ for killing Wendell (who?!?) - in Chester's Mill your first murder is free (right, Barbie?).

Not to mention that town has just discovered that he's a shape-shifter, and have reacted with their usual pitchfork-carrying riot. You'd think Sam would definitely be like, "Yep, it's time to move on."

Thanks for that - I was having a tough time remembering who would give a crap that those two were kidnapped.

"In seven days we run out of resources, in 14 people start starving, and in 21 they begin to turn on each other."

The kids would have realized this too if they'd just check the "locker combinations cross-referenced with former students birthdays" binder.

"Junior shows up at the diner covered in her blood, you’d think he’d be suspect number one." And him sitting alone in the room clutching the corpse's hand didn't do him any favors either (though it was worth it for that great moment when Uncle Sam pulled up a seat for his heart-to-heart and basically sat on Angie's…

Magnets.

I think it was "We lost our beloved sheriff… and Linda."

Here's how most shows would have written it:
Eric is sad about the recent death of his sister (whom we knew) ==> She was killed by Sara Newlin ==> Will now go get revenge on Sara Newlin

I think they just went down the list of "cliché horror settings" and since college frat house and underground tunnels had already been used, they knew to head straight for the abandoned hotel.

Alternate caption: "See all evil. Poke all evil. Stab all evil."