i don't even

Yes, Columbus filled the teaching staff with ringers to distract from how bad the kids were at this "acting" thing, but Radcliffe grew quite a bit over the years. In talent at least.

Really? That's practically heartbreaking.

I had a long list starting with Earnest Borgnine, and then I hit:

Still, he probably weighs about 70 lbs soaking wet and could use every advantage possible in a fist fight.

If you squint, this is basically the cartoon line-up.

Damien's like, what, 10 or 12? I think he needs those brass knuckles or whatever for when he's fighting grown-up criminals.

The Marvel Universe would be a scary place to live, and it's not because of the giant pink genocidal robots or the Nazi secretaries of state or the fact that Latveria still exists. It's because of the superheroes.

It used to be kind of fun and semi-realistic that Marvel superheroes didn't always get along, and could often be counted upon to sock one another on the jaw over some misunderstanding, but lately fighting (and killing!) one another seems to be their raison d’être. I can only assume that the supervillains are having a…

Secret Wars, despite being a toy commercial, was really a pretty good story. Jam-packed with every big hitter from the Marvel Universe, it showed why the X-Men were second-stringers, why Spider-Man was the flagship hero, why Doom was a scary threat, and why Magneto wasn't such a horrible person. Lots of action and fun…

Well, like I said, I'm not laying it all on Hickman's desk. Those are the kinds of things editors are supposed to catch and do something about, but they didn't do it here, and it affected my enjoyment of the story. It's hardly the harshest of my criticisms, though.

I don't bother with "event" comics anymore, so… Mike Zeck? I guess. Yeah, let's go with Zeck.

You'd be pilloried in the movie threads for even suggesting that Marvel films have nuance. But 'tis true, compared to their source material, screen writers seem to be a bit better at coming up with characterization for their heroes. Helped, no doubt, by charismatic actors.

No, I'm with you. I checked it out after seeing all the praise and I couldn't even make it through the entirety of the first arc. It was one of those "is it me? Am I so out of touch - not it's the children who are wrong!" moments.

Yeah, no. That's a weak defense and you know it.

Fair, but, I mean, Marvel isn't the only purveyor of superhero comics.

I tried to be funny, or at least to suggest humor, rather than just bitch and complain. It's probably mostly the latter, though.

I don't recall too much, but I do recall not being angered enough to write a screed against it as I was with "Infinity."

A miscarriage of justice is still a miscarriage of justice, even if it doesn't exactly cripple the O.

Here's a review I wrote for "Infinity" some years ago. "Lackluster" is just the tip of the iceberg: