That is why he fails.

"Whiny teenager" does not equal "interesting villain."

Dude. Luke was on Dagobah for an unspecified time, but it was way longer than a week. The Millenium Falcon's hyperdrive is kerflooey. Han and Chewie had to fly to Bespin under impulse power. Must have taken them a fair bit of time getting there from the Hoth System.

Ha ha ha! Nothing is stronger than Magnum's 'stache!

Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Username/comment synergy.

40% of all statistics are made up, Kent. Everyone knows that.

I don't give a shit about fashion - anyone who sees the way I dress didn't have to be told that - but I love Tim Gunn. My wife used to put Project: Runway on years ago and I would do my thing with it in the background, and the guy is just a genuine delight. I even enjoy his damn Geico commercial.

I'm a day off and, yeah, totally.

"Storm Reid." That is like the most badass name a 13 year old has ever had.

Nor is he fooling anyone. "Top" Sergeant? Don't ask, don't tell, eh, Duke?

Oh sure, a The Prisoner pastiche is always gonna look good.

Lame!

Inhumanoids, aka Lovecraft For Kids.

I've never said "Calm down" to someone I was not actively trying to piss off.

Agreed, although the comic eventually devolved into Ninjas! Ninjas! Ninjas! it was always clear that Larry Hama's favorite character was Sergeant Major Lonzo R. Wilkinson, and that, having served in the military himself, Hama actually knew what the hell he was talking about.

Turbo fucking rocked, though.

I thought Cobra Commander turned into some kind of snake? And became good buddies with a blind Roadblock?

Okay, but those actually existed. I've seen the art! And someone on the internet claimed to have owned one, so it must be true.

The Cheat is overwhelmed!