Seconded on the "Tommy Stinson is a bad motherfucker"

I'm buying the book he's reading immediately

….Her?

*wistfully dumps a calzone on the curb*

It's on Netflix streaming…

Christopher Cross has bigger tits

Somehow, I knew Corky would make an appearance….

"Of course I know what a rusty trombone is…I used to be a stewardess"

Mmmmm! Butterscotch! Wanna lick?

I'm afraid you've prematurely shot your wad on what was to be a dry run….

"All of my significant other's cousins are either pregnant or recent parents. It's especially bad because some of them are barely 18."

Wow! That's some key info, Goop. I'm gonna jot that down….

Stay away from A BIG JERK

I'd definitely like to pound that sweet piece of Veal

Army had a half day!

"They weren't having a very good time."

Thanks, Frito. I now have clam chowder all over my monitor.

You're about to suffer from fist-a-phobia, Kyle

Manhunt could have potential - and bring back Brian Cox as Starkweather

The man can't even grow his own hair??