I'm on it, Doc D-Bag.

Aw, c'mon
Shouldn't some celluloid entity be killing off frat boys instead?

Yeesh!
Hang in there, Francis Bean, only a couple of more years and you'll be free.

The world is a full sink, set to drain.

Don't discount cinnamon bears, HH. They're, like, the Irish of bears.

Yeah, but . . . BEARS, man! Talking bruins! That's comedy gold!

Hee hee!

Those shakes taste nothin' like shamrocks!
*brandishes shillelagh*

Glass of fat
But doctors have been telling us to drink 8 glasses of gravy a day!

Unnecessary Simpsons Reference: The University of Minnesota Spankological Protocol.

Sorry, just got in hammered. Thought this was part 2 of cliche complaints.
Now to go pre-pack an icepack for my head.
Oy.

Very recently?
Some twee friggin' music as the soundtrack for some self-consciously quirky indie film. Please no more twee and pull back on the quirky!

Mazel Tov!
Now please tell me - in great detail - how you got your first novel published, along with your agent's name and number.
Just, you know, curious for no specific reason . . .

There's a tasteless Cannibal Corpse reference "dying" to be made here, but I'm too lazy. Someone else, please.
*takes Celexa*

I shall refer you to an analrapist, oh great primate.

Getting there, AOP. Think a little south of that.

Hmmmm. Somewhere between Gumbercules' and KB's suggestions.

Toronto
"not exactly my favourite place". No kidding. Move west, baby.

Shit. Now "Suicide Won By Eleven" will be the name of some new metalcore band. Nice going, Josh.

"You can't handle the full court press!"