And also it makes some people feel big to give themself a stupid name because then other people have to say it. Hence Dame Dash and Diddy.

Yes. Definition.

Wait, you can't have wordplay in here! This is hip-hop!

No, he'd be called Yadunknow.

I read it as sounding like "Yah, seen." So he's changed his name from something that means Yes to, er, something else that means Yes. Smooth.

That MC already exists!

No, hence reading an article about Mos Def. Zing!

Totally wasted opportunity. I always think Martin Sheen must be kicking himself too, because these days Ramon Estevez sounds pretty cool.

I love those guys! "They call me The Johnster" - oh right, yeah cool story bro.

What is this, Terrahawks?

We can't all have a law named after us, tragically.

[Sean O'Neal faints dead away]

New protocol everyone. It's OK to make fun of people for being mentally ill, but if you make fun of people for being old (like you'll be one day) then you're a bad person and probably a communist too. To be implemented across all future snarkery with immediate effect.

And there's the difference: you can just ignore Warren Beatty, but Madonna's always just… there.

HEY. We're totally down for jokes about Charlie Sheen's dick too.

Did anyone actually say that?

I did spend those few days wondering what in my house could be used as a weapon, with the theme from Assault on Precinct 13 running through my head.

I once made a pilgrimage to the Spaced house, and then ended up moving just down the road a few years later. It's on Carleton Road, Tuffnell Park, if you're interested, and looks pretty different in context - I never noticed, for example, that in Spaced you never once see what's to the right of the house. It looks as…

If you don't know what it means, that's not the word's fault. Don't hate the player.

When it was released, the promotional website was at www.rom-zom.com (genuinely).