Failing that, some quasi-realistic documentary footage circulates in independent movie stores featuring Ahmidenejad (or whatever) going into the jungle only to be cannibalized by Jews.

What we have learned
The Blackberry Messages are real, but the Holocaust is fake.

Let's keep it going..
A Heartbreaking Work of Self-Indulgent Tripe (boo-urns).

At last
A TV Club staple to call my own.

I paid good money for those 2 dollar sunglasses, cocksucker.

Now you're just reciting lines from the interview you just read?

What pieces did you use to make the vagina?

Dennis Haysbert would not approve.

Give it a rest, you fungdark.

The commercials/infotainment before movies these days tells me that Amanda Leigh is Mandy Moore's real name, or first and middle names maybe.

Forget E3, where's the coverage of Hausia Dompa dying in a flaming vat of EbolAIDS?

Drink up…
Judah Ben-Hur.

Finally a Tonight Show monologue..
..where the crowd laughs, instead of waiting for the punchline and applauding.

Guarantee void in Tennessee.

Ass.

Jay's most memorable moment
Is getting the fuck off my TV at 11:30 so Conan can finally get the audience he truly deserves.

Next up on Robo-Trumble
Circuit Ray Leonard vs. Smashius Clay AKA Killhammed Aiiiiie!

What's next?
"Cuddle" parties?! Some sort of non-orgiastic exchange of basic human contact and affection?

That one wouldn't even qualify for CSI: Minneapolis.

Jorge, don't forget: Take your time, aim careful, and look the Devil in the eye.