I enjoyed Jemaine Clement's nightmare-biker-Tim-Curry impression.

I enjoyed Jemaine Clement's nightmare-biker-Tim-Curry impression.

"Movies!? I love being in movies!" - Jackie Chan moments before inking the deal on Baby Be Fartin'

"Movies!? I love being in movies!" - Jackie Chan moments before inking the deal on Baby Be Fartin'

"10 years from now, Asia will be wondering aloud why the hell Jackie Chan agreed to be in this."

"10 years from now, Asia will be wondering aloud why the hell Jackie Chan agreed to be in this."

The inscrutable hieroglyphics of the heathen Chinee!

The inscrutable hieroglyphics of the heathen Chinee!

Maybe China is going through a weeaboo phase.

Maybe China is going through a weeaboo phase.

Feel the rhythm! Feel the rhyme! Get on up, it's time to die!

Feel the rhythm! Feel the rhyme! Get on up, it's time to die!

Ice cubes glittering on the laminate flooring.

Ice cubes glittering on the laminate flooring.

My friend got fired from washing dishes at Ruby Tuesdays for "not having a Ruby Tuesdays attitude."

My friend got fired from washing dishes at Ruby Tuesdays for "not having a Ruby Tuesdays attitude."

As bracing as a coffee enema can be, you're halving your caffiene potantial by not also shotgunning a Red Bull in your greater upper caffiene hole.

"Hey turn left here and we'll miss Tom Bombadil. Trust me."

Playing Perfect Battleship by "Smilin'" llama cull weekend

I've said this before, but we're due for a return to physically underdeveloped aliens with giant noggins. What's scarier to people these days than an intellectual?