I'm thinking kids would have to be dragged to a comic book store or be friends with someone who was dragged to a comic book store to even think about them.

Lux let's not go down this road enough blood has been spilt

Yeah hopefully not a Jolly Rancher and when he finally got it he was all, "ugh, WATERMELON!"

Was Harrison Ford 350 lbs. and did Batman keep trying to get 14 year-old girls to drink from his wine skin? I might have been there.

His acting method involves shadowing the oldest, orneriest cat at the shelter.

Okay, what about: they're trying to be the cocktail for people who don't drink cocktails (or Trainables).

Does it have 300 letters? I like those.

Huh I wonder how Commerce City and the Tech Center got their names

I'm a biiiiiiiiig Christian and I need a biiiiiiiiiig cereal

Dad close your robe

"It's okay for Barnes & Noble to sell The Turner Diaries because they only ran 5000 copies."

Wife: "Llama, did you spend the grocery money on gin?"
Llama: "I don't know, why don't you cry about Titanic about it?"

A visibly frustrated mother dumps dozens of tubes of face paint out of her handbag.

I saw Ghost Protocol and my favorite part is when my wife teared up during the Titanic in 3D preview, ahahahaha.

Slough Hilton, Holmes injected cocaaaaaaaaine

Hitchens: "I hate Mondays!"
St Peter: "AAAACK!!!"
Jesus: "Potential change in your marital status today."

"Hallo Hitchens, do you haff 16 pound balls? Vait, shit." *clangs down 24k gold and pearl encrusted phone reciever*

I would say you are correct, but a lot of people just want an unchallenging alcohol delivery system. Which means sweet drinks are more popular, since most people spend their formative years drinking nothing but sweet.

Hey barkeep, gimme half a Bud Light, an empty shot glass, and some Aunt Jemimah.

Oh boy, sweet beer. I like mine with two packets of turbinado and a squeeze of clover honey.