Denny's Waitress: Sir, sir, you can't take that in here.
Me: Then I shall build my mountain of corpses in the foyer!

Dolph Lundgren and Brandon Lee are cops who have to get the Yakuza out of Little Tokyo by shaming them in a climatic 30-minute tap contest.

It's weird to find out how subversive The Smothers Brothers were when all you knew them from was a VHS shilling Duncans.

Mad at aliens in board game film. Super mad.

And then the fantastically advanced starship that sails through vast cosmic distances and unheard of dimensions as easily as you walk from one room to another opens up to reveal a naked, subverbal football lineman brandishing a tree branch at you. Roll initiative!

Oh good visual shorthand that's perfect since I'm an idiot. Jolly good, let's keep aping Alien for another 30 years.

Aren't we tired of big, muscley, animalistic aliens yet? I can't tell easily from the trailer, but dollars to doughnuts this thing has backwards knees. It's trite now. Super 8 would have been a lot better without one.

Humminahummina Applebees.

"Say what out loud? Okay, 'I don't even own a TV.' Hey, it's not frozen anymore! Thanks!"

Also, does my breath smell like gin to you? *HHHHHHHH*

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"
 
The horse says, "Because life is a meaningless parade of banalities and suffering."

Yeah for real. Somehow Abraham Lincoln and food jokes are funnier than the sum of their parts.

I heard his script had to be written on the back of a shovel, dude is SERIOUS.

And that is how I got out of that traffic ticket and into some herpes.

Yes… and when my anus relaxes I release the 8-hour knockout gas!

@avclub-1e850f6bef0bc36ca1f64e95ff1cbd2e:disqus "Care to dance with a mild mannered pervert?"

Or when they're in a movie backlot cafeteria, all wearing knight's armor and unsuccessfully trying to sit down at Liza Minnelli's table for 10 minutes.

It's classic Brooks humor with a lot of great physical gags, personally I can't watch it enough.

It's one of my favorite movies. I'm partial to when they're trying to break into Burt Reynolds house and Brooks, Dom Deluise, and Marty Feldman are on each others shoulders under a huge overcoat. "I have a terrible glandular condition. May I use your phone?"

*Ctrl+f "Small Wonder"* This is BULLSHIT!