When I was young man, wizards knew their place!

To be fair, after the way the third movie ended, it's hard not to.

"Saucers of honeymilk jostled for position with four carafes of coffee, which conceded defeat to seven pots of tea, each of a different flavor. Gumdrops and heaping plates of pasta and cake and food FOOD NUM NUMMERS EAT MMMMM GOD FOODDD"

You weren't wearing baggy cargo pants to hide your boner? Rookie mistake.

Nice try, David Aaronovitch
Or should I say, that Reptilian who lives in the secret tunnels at the Denver International Airport who used telekenesis to get me blamed for knocking over that display case full of pewter spoons?

Law & Order gets alot more enjoyable if you "imagine" that Jack McCoy is drunk 24/7.

Spening the winter in the bush with only a jack knife and a parka.

I'm pretty sure Anthony Bourdain is the "head chef" at Les Halles, but like a lot of celebrity chef's he just has his name on the restaurant and doesn't cook there anymore.

I know Lowtax from somethingawful.com also never saw a Uwe Boll movie before agreeing to the boxing match (he later reviewed one before the match to live up to the premise and got to be an extra in Postal).

Hats off to the AV Club for introducing me to Paul F. Thompkins, he's fast becoming one of my favorites.

Trader Vic's in Vegas is really scared to let anyone use the cool Tiki glasses, since so many people have walked off with them. Lame.

Oooooh, I'm twixt your nethers, oooohh, I gots batteries in my ears, ooooh…

I got a friend who is into Tiki drinks
It's kind of a lost art. They taste delicious and are like a million percent alcohol by volume.

Didn't he deck some moon landing denier who was stalking him?

Nothing disarms a tense situation like an impromptu handjob.

I found a recipe for "Real NY Corned Beef and Cabbage" that was 75 steps long, including 6 steps on picking cabbage. Corned beef and fucking cabbage.

Putting a doily under your balls and wiping with a fresh white hankerchief.

Too true.

The catcher.

It doesn't have to be great, just Christian!