"We took a look at the pile of money that he's generated for us, and that's convinced us he's a better man."

I assume you know that we live in a society.

That's precisely the point that I was trying to make. Both Quasi and Richard and Linda Thompson managed to make amazing music out of the dire circumstances of their collapsed marriages.

Nope, Teen Beet, the magazine for young borscht enthusiasts.

"I tried curing the meat, but it still smelled like his terrible aftershave."

It needs seven. He's currently gotten two. Thanks, Kilborn kids!

No way, that's my drinking skull!

My biggest pet peeve is when Christians claim that they have some particular knowledge of God's will, which goes against the commandment of taking the Lord's name in vain. I mean, you can take or leave all of that Leviticus stuff, sure, but you can't get more hypocritical than breaking a commandment to claim that…

Finally, the Ovaltine-related comedy the nation has been clamoring for!

Is that our job? I thought our job was making dumb jokes.

That one creeps me the fuck out.

Who's talking?

I am in the middle of Future Days by David Stubbs. It's a fascinating overview of Krautrock, providing short bios of some of the major bands to come out of West Germany in the 70s. It's a nice corrective to Julian Cope's Krautrocksampler, which is an entertaining book, but apparently wildly inaccurate.

Evasive is what he does. He recently said that he had a way to finish off ISIS, but he wasn't going to tell anyone what it was, so they don't ruin it for him when he becomes president. That's some quality bullshit, there.

It was the late 80s, there was always something equally dire around the corner.

We won't.

That's the season that's entirely from the point of view of a dog that lives in the beach town.

They'll explain that in the movie. Apparently they were the same character, and he survives because Cy gets access to a time machine.

'At least it gave me some closure."
-what nobody said after watching the Seinfeld finale

Both in a single thong or one each?