Goth involves more eyeliner.

Tina Fey?

Well, that does come as a surprise to me.

*turns in AV Club card*

Yes.  It is the heartwarming tale of men and women who make the mistake of giving a shit when it is clearly not their turn.

Bulbous also tapered.

Maybe it's just because her hair & makeup are different, but she does look like a different person.

Gator?

What eyebrows?

I am glad that I have a place to comment on how shaving off your eyebrows is a terrible thing to do.

"That's food coloring. It's a thing we do."

"Stay out of my Lotaburger."

Dr. Landy will be played by a giant cockroach with the voice of Peter Weller.

@avclub-2586d0717b58d4f4383144ca1341d079:disqus , us old people call that "The Weeds Effect."

Jay's Journal of Anomalies is an amazing and beautiful book. I'd love to find a copy of his book Cards as Weapons but that one is apparently very rare.

Wearing? As in clothes?

This is why you are not Chris Brown.

You obviously didn't see the interview where Charlie Rose claimed that Shakespeare was "like a drag queen version of Christopher Marlowe."

I was in a play in college that was all done in slow motion (it was an adaptation of a Japanese play called Water Station).  It was intense and insane.  I remember that my breathing slowed down, but I'm not sure about blinking.

What's sad is that I know exactly how that joke would go.  First he'd hold the gun, then he'd hold the gun sideways.  I guess that means I've graduated from the Carlos Mencia School of Comedy.