Peeved every Monday and Wednesday, when I have to go to a different office and work in this interminable indefinite interim fill-in job. It would be just mostly annoying if the job was something that actually needed doing, but there were some personnel changes over the last couple of weeks that have made this…

My stylist is a perfect fit for me in that regard; she's happy to be quiet, but also has Crazy Cat Lady tendencies, so if we decide to chat it's always endless prattling about our cats. Walking out after each haircut I'm always thinking, "Man, it's either cats or nothing with me, isn't it?"

Happy birthday! My friend was 41 this year and was lamenting that soon she's going to stop being "forty-wonderful". I assured her that "forty-2 legit" will be just as good, but frankly, forty-wonderful sounds a lot better.

Congratulations! That's fantastic news! I got that sized bonus this year as well, and it was like my boss had just told me I was getting 10 million dollars. I wanted to run out and toss hundred-dollar bills out the sunroof of a limo.

I can't help you with celery salad, but I did make an awesome celery soup this winter. It was just a super-basic pureed soup with celery and onions in it, but the key to it's fantasticness was crumbling blue cheese into it at the end. In case that was a direction you were interested in going with your celery excess.

Yeah, when I moved to Arizona, going into the grocery store was like being in a wonderland. "Is this… BOOZE in here??"

My god, those are EARS? I thought they were arms all this time. (Yeah. Arms. That's the ticket…)

Wait, there are people (or, um, whatever Dikachus are… Are you people?) who don't like celery? What on earth is going on here??

I have a bottle of Knob Creek* in my pantry right now, and fully intend to drink it this way asap. Gotta hit the grocery store on the way home for limes and ginger beer…

Thank you, Lurky! It's so good to see another voice of reason here. Parsley and cilantro are wonderful, and I'm happy to eat all the extra left by these crazy people who don't eat them.

No jury would convict you, Lurky, if you just take what is clearly the best course of action here.

Fantomas - "Cape Fear"
Jesus Christ Superstar Motion Picture Soundtrack - "The Crucifixion"
Sun Kil Moon - "Floating"
Nine Inch Nails - "Right Where It Belongs"
Low - "Dinosaur Act"

Damn your eyes, Whovian!

I'd give Simon & Simon a vote for the short-lived theme song with vocals. That was just some solid opening-credit music craft right there.

GAAAAASP! You take that back! You take that back right now! ::sobs::

I need paaaaaaaaaaarsley.

Not a day goes by in my office that I don't wonder about at least one coworker how they managed to get a PhD. "Boggles the mind" pretty well sums it up.

I don't like Cheez-its either. The cheez has a weird aftertaste, and the crackers have a sort of viscous residual mouthfeel. If I'm looking for a crunchy cheez snack, I'll always go with Cheetos instead. Cheetos really knows how to make a delicious cheez flavor.

I'm pissed off about this stupid office I have to sit in two days a week during this open-ended temp/coverage assignment I'm stuck in. There are no windows, the office's previous occupant had the ceiling light disconnected, and the hallway lights (this is a cubicle at the end of a corridor) are dimmed. So all I've…

Lurky, I'm the same as you — a job filled with unsupervised downtime is basically my dream job. Occasionally I'll hear one of my admin colleagues complaining to higher-ups that they're bored and would like more work, and I'm like, "Quit ruining it for the rest of us!"