Snail.

I have fashion to report today!  I got these shoes, and after five years of wearing nothing but Dansko clogs (on my feet.  I mean, I think I've been wearing pants…) I'm teetering around on these things like they're six-inch stilettos.  But they look great!  Or at least that's what I'm telling myself…

Oooh, "Sleepy Strange"!  I think that's what I want to be listening to today…

GAH!  YOU GOT TOMATOES!  I'M SO JEALOUS!  My farm was talking up grape tomatoes all week, but when my pick-up day came along, were there any?  OF COURSE NOT.  Anyway, I got:

@avclub-d019eb089e65903455cc52308f00b997:disqus Toss your cubed watermelon with some fresh minced hot pepper and slivered mint or basil, and maybe a squeeze of lime juice.  You won't regret it!

@avclub-70c79fc58b2c3e2785355b37573f2f56:disqus Dead prostitute's shoe!  THANK YOU.  It's been about a decade for me too since I last had Subway, and I've been spending all that time trying to remember what the flavor had reminded me of…

I loved driving from Santa Fe to Dallas!  The landscape is so pretty, and there's no one else on the roads, and the speed limit is really high, and if you do it in the springtime there are wildflowers and chirping birds at the little rest spots along the highway.  I dunno.  I was charmed by it.

Rail travel is a dream of mine, too.  Although I want to do it in Gilded Age style, on some super-swanky first-class train where I'd be pampered and everything would be glamorous and maybe all the women would wear silk turbans…  Anyway, I did once get to do an overnight train ride from Moscow to St. Petersburg, and…

Good luck!  How's Week 1 treating you?

Congratulations — nicely done (less the "hurting your knee" part)!  Six weeks into the newer, better, gym-going me, my weight is much the same, but my pants fit better.  I think I'm more concerned with inches than with pounds, so I'm not too unhappy.

Please let someone have a recipe, because that sounds so freaking good.

My mother brought a bag of Rainier cherries home from Whole Foods last week and holy shit were they delicious.  I feel bad asking her to bring another one (or thirty) home now, because I suspect they cost a fortune.

The wasps aren't horrible!  They're your friend!  They're trying to save your tomatoes for you, by torturously killing the hornworms!  What's not to love?

Happy birthday!

Despite being at extreme low-ebb last night, I still managed to make this pork souvlaki with tzatziki for dinner.  With a quick orzo salad and some steamed green beans on the side, I was pretty proud of myself.  It was especially tasty because the garlic was all fresh garden garlic, which is so delicious raw.  (Oh,…

E.  Seriously?  Salty watermelon?  I like spicy watermelon, but can't really fathom it salty.  Is this something someone was trying to do with muskmelon, but didn't have any muskmelon on hand so they figured a watermelon would work just as well?

Can I hire your husky to police my fruit trees?  The birds have managed to beat me to every one of the black raspberries that are coming in for the first time in my yard, too.  And like you, I've got supposedly bird-repelling reflective things hanging all over the place (silver owls that claim to be totally…

Air - "Alone In Kyoto"
Dolly Parton - "Seven Bridges Road"
The Melvins - "Hog Leg"
John Zorn - "Secret Ceremony"
Dalek - "Megaton (Deadverse Remix)"

Squishing is almost too good a fate for tomato hornworms.  Those fuckers deserve to suffer long, painful deaths.  For some reason my garden always seems to quickly respond to hornworms with bountiful parasitic wasps (knock wood that this keeps up this year), so I like to leave one of the wasp-larva-covered worms in…

The avocado thing really does keep coming up, doesn't it?  I wonder why Amelie is so offended by it.  (Also, Alton Brown taught me that avocado doesn't have a "season", so it's totally okay to buy it year-round.  Did he lie to me?)