When the Bee Gees are at your door, in the morning they won't be there no more.

Or "Piece of Crap." Because it's a piece of crap.

Your Grandma or the cat?

Leave Alex alone! He's Southern!

The finale is a singalong to "It Ain't Easy Being White…"

Because she has body image issues and she is sure Irving is going to propose to her any time now. ACK!

No "Paddle to the Sea," no peace!

Exit question: what does the inside of Mike Nesmith's wool hat smell like? GO!

Bummer. I was hoping that the story would be reporting that Hanks signed on to star in the movie adaptation of Timothy McSweeney's Internet Tendency's "Three Uses For A Bundt Cake, As Seen In 'Martha Stewart Living' In An Alternate Reality" comedy list. With Hanks as Bundt Cake #2.

I'm sad that, much like the number of living World War II vets, the number of people who remember Wheel's ridiculous "shopping sprees" in between puzzles is shrinking by the day.

Lil' Bub.

Yeah, I think I'm going to get drunk while I listen.

Palahniuk's Sinatra imitation is better.

And yet, beyond its conceptual ability of flight, it bears relatively few similarities to the 1986 Lewis Gossett, Jr. film Iron Eagle.

Only it turns out, in real life, he's Doogie Quaid, an ordinary construction worker living on Earth and married to Sharon Stone.

I'm hoping our local Bijou will host a "Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead" / "Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot" / "Throw Momma From the Train" triple-bill of '90s-era, windily-titled, Mom-themed crap. On Mother's Day.

It means "he was Todd Rundgren and three other guys you've never heard of." You can see why we'd need a shortened version of a phrase like that.

Really, anywhere is a better place than Florida.

It's all about that bass? No treble?

She had the right concept, just the wrong word for it. His wife was being extremely heteronormative. That's a big word for a 14-year old girl to understand.