is Knopfler's first double album in a career spanning 35 years

I guess Patrick Warburton was taking the recycling out or something and didn't answer his phone.

Yo Drumma's so fat, he's at significantly increased risk of premature death from conditions such as diabetes, stroke, and heart disease.  Really, he should try to eat better and exercise, which I know can be hard when you're on the road all the time, what with working irregular schedules and not always having access…

https://www.youtube.com/wat…

"I'm nothing but a washed-up ham.  And not the good kind, like if you're stranded on a desert island."

Or Eliza Dushku's mom.

> IT'S NOT FOR YOU.

Eh.  GEICO did a mock reality show in one of its commercials a few years ago, and it was much more "realistic"* than these.

I don't know, studios have a reputation for being awfully tight-fisted when it comes to those.  It might be better for them to just open their books wide and let the public gape at the financials on this.  If people see that Card is just getting an occasional spurt of residuals, rather than a heavy load of ticket…

I wonder how many people have spent weeks working on some puppet only
have their girlfriend find it early and be all like, "What is that?" And
then it's ruined.

To the contrary, this was a review that should have been assigned to someone for whom a lot of Hodgman goes a little way.

There's no logical connection between the propositions "unity is what we are afraid of" and "fear is insanity."

Alternative headline:

I want to go up to every film executive in the world and scream at the top of my lungs: "STOP TRYING TO MAKE MOVIES OUT OF TOYS AND BOARD GAMES AND AND THEME PARK RIDES, YOU FUCKING CREATIVELY BANKRUPT ASSHOLES."

Did anyone see that movie, "Tron"?

Now if only you had one of those metal dealies . . . you use to . . . dig . . . food.

Speaking of dumps, if Jennifer Anniston plops her ass down on your toilet, you better get the plunger
ready. She BEEFS. She'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no
flushes in between. Rumor has it that on the set of "Horrible Bosses," she used
to shit in the shower and heel it down the drain to save time.

I can't wait to see the Zach Braff-style hate directed at Linklater.

No!  I just placed my order for "The Criterion Collection: the Complete Works of Seltzer and Freidberg" Blu-Ray set.  Now it's going to be insufficiently comprehensive!

You've never stolen Chuck Klosterman's bagel, I see.  A pissed-off Chuckie makes Henry Rollins look like the Mr. Rogers serving tea to the Dalai Lama.