Two eggs.

Gah! We've been in Vienna and Krakow and my partner just wants a ham and cheese sandwich. Impossible. Until today. There was a ham and cheese roll at Auschwitz. He passed.

I live in a high rise and my fire alarm cannot be disconnected and is wired directly to the fire department. The first time I tried to cook steak inside the fire department showed up. If I try to cook steak inside again I'm going to have to pay for a "false alarm". I live for summer.

Also, consider yourself upvoted because Disqus is being a dick again and won't let me upvote you.

Eh, I'm going to eat other species because I'm programmed to stay alive as long as possible and I'm built to be an omnivore. If someone else wants to fight nature that's fine with me. More bacon for me. But there's no reason I need to be stupid about it. The possibility of consciousness brings it closer to cannibalism…

How big are they? Deep dish or adjust accordingly. I envy you.

Everyone hates mom's meatloaf but me. Her's was pretty simple but always turned out great. I've changed my meatloaf so much after learning how to make it from her that I couldn't replicate it now if I tried but I do know that she used freshly crushed saltines as the filler and always had a strip of bacon and a stripe…

Happy travels! I was in Austria last week and Poland this week.

I thought we put a moratorium on humble bragging.

Tell my cat that. She won't stop bitching about the heat.

You're lucky Disqus thinks puto is just a misspelling.

Donald Trump: She has a little sister? Will she grow up to be a 10?

I've already been to Auschwitz today. I'll consider this a light diversion.

I like cold fish.

Fuck neither and we all win.

He was too sweaty.

Mitosis.

So you're saying that miniature aliens who are still figuring out how to work the controls can tweet as well as Trump?

Mexico will pay for it.

I love sharing calamari with people who are afraid of tentacles. I get all the tender pieces.