Hullo Control.

This song is probably the ultimate example of that thing where nobody recognises the name of the band or the song, but play them any random twenty seconds and they'll know it instantly.

Man, even by the standards of the Consuming-Shit-Just-So-You-Can-Say-It's-Shit-As-If-That's-Some-Sort-Of-An-Achievement community that website is fucking obnoxious. You're just reading below average books, not suffering torture; There's no need to make such a goddamn meal out of it.

"You know, he does better asleep than I do awake."

I'm not sure why you wouldn't continue to pitch this to Adult Swim, given that they're the people who thought a Hanna Barbera spoof centering around convicted rapist Mike Tyson was the most hilarious idea ever.

Featuring Fred Harris as Pip, the out of work BBC time signal, who joins the King's cobblers and gets deported.

Possible Titles I Would Have Arranged For This Book
To 'Accidentally' Be Published Under Were I A Person Of Importance At Penguin:
7. Brickie With a Quiff
6. Some More of Me Poems
5. Why I Hate All Chinkies, Vol. 1
4. Give Me Back My Fans, Jarvis Cocker
3. Ooh, You Are Awful
2. Sixth Form Poetry Over Elevator Music: The…

"On one occasion Alyson had tears in her eyes as the rules prevented her from using her mouth to finish off Two Gentlemen of Verona."

"Opposing team captain Lisa Kudrow watched open-mouthed as Matthew Perry pulled off Twelve Angry Men in under thirty seconds."

"This film's been specially ruined for television."

I'm reminded of how someone - I forget whom - once describe the staff of National Lampoon magazine as a bunch of white boys spending their college years flicking their boogers at the establishment before graduating into lives of pre-ordained wealth and privilege. Strikes me this is kind of the 21st c. equivalent, only…

"Doctor, can you give us your impression of Mr Striker?"

Looking at the other reviews on the net, it seems, astonishingly, that there are two versions of this piece of crap. The UK release apparently has an entirely different framing device that basically amounts to 'teenagers looking for disgusting stuff on the internet'.

The only thing more depressing than this movie is the horrible sinking feeling I have that, in the manner of Freddy Got Fingered and the like, it's going to inspire a legion of hipper-than-thou wankers who will spend the rest of eternity irritating the shit out of everyone else by explaining how it's actually a…