I cannot remember birthdays.

What'cha mean, "I'm a whot"?  Yeh mean teh tell me yer ten years old and don't unnerstan' the concept of "Wizard"?

They only come out when somebody disses boy bands.

Funny, I can't think of that many series where this issue comes up.

So given this whole "Darker and Edgier, but also Actually Closer in Tone to the Considerably Less Whimsical Book" thing, shouldn't Disney just re-release "Return to OZ" in 3D just to see what happens?

See, that would actually be amazing. Mostly because you'd never in a billion years expect Disney to do that.

Honestly the strangest thing about "Return to OZ" is that it and the 3D "Alice in Wonderland" from a few years back have damn near the same premise, yet the worse movie of the two made a mint.

Funny, the narration is what turned me away from the American broadcast version of "Life" too!  Partially because why the f*** do you replace Sir David Attenborough and also because (and I cannot believe I have to fall back on using a TV Tropes term but here we are) Lull Destructions make me cry.

Better yet, get "Life".  The DVD set has a music only/no narration track.

"Letter People" is the kind of children's show that is simultaneously awesome and terrifying.  All of the characters were talking letters; all the consonants were male and the vowels were female.  Think of that episode of "Wonder Showzen" with the war between the letters and numbers and you have an idea of what the…

By the way, "Away In A Monster Manger"?

It reminds me of a little slice of brain-breakery dug up by Cartoon Brew a few years back called "Whale Magic".  The promotional video is no longer on YouTube but it was damn near identical to the "Boulder Buddies" promo, showcasing terrible animation, awful music, and boring characters while assuring us over and over…

Yeah, I wouldn't argue "most notorious" for a second.

The park map on their website is just absolutely fascinating.  For every one semi-relevant and genuinely interesting-looking exhibit (ie, the Scriptorium), there are three dubious attractions like the rock-climbing wall and dancing fountains.  The birthplace of Jesus is right around the corner from every child's…

Extremely delayed but no, "Black Cauldron" wasn't Disney's biggest flop.  It was a box-office disappointment and has a pretty incredible story behind it, but "Treasure Planet", "Dinosaur", "Mars Needs Moms", and (surprisingly, since the movie looks cheap as hell) "Home on the Range" all lost more money.

I have seen a full episode of "The Reppies".  I am still waiting for the opportunity to use the following phrase that I coined after the show ended: "This is only slightly less confusing than Christian Furries."

I seem to recall a similar program that ran during the day on local public television with an absurdly diverse group of youngsters and dialogue like, "Being blind won't stop me from being a telephone operator when I grow up!"

Some non-cable station or other used to show both of these series when I was a child and the opening credit sequences remain among the strangest bait-and-switches I have ever experienced.

Seriously, I can't tell if that "Boulder Buddies" ad is an elaborate satire or not.  The more I think about it, this might be the most haunting program in an article full of them, because you can *ALMOST* see where the producers were coming from. "Kids these days go nuts over talking vegetables, talking cars, and a…

Ye gods, that whole scene with the existential discussion between the guy with the 'fro and the horribly deformed monkey puppet was almost Lynchian.