The velocity of time turns this blood into sugar water…

If you want this shirt so badly, why don't you just make one and sell it to yourself on one of those "make a t-shirt" sites? Then you can leave off the band name.

This also reinforces my notion that during the Bush 00's people in America went absolutely batshit insane. That's why I'm glad I pulled up stakes and split for Japan. I dread returning to a land where Bob Seger is the best-selling musical "artist."

I looked into it. Early Seger, late Seger all suck. His entire catalog from start to finish is complete shit. Energy is no substitute for inspiration and later, when even the energy flagged… wow. Generica. There's so much great American rock music out there during the time frame represented by Seger's career that…

I'm having trouble believing that's really Jessica Simpson.
It looks more like an old snapshot of my friend's aunt who came to live with them in their sunken den (converted from a garage) and who spent her Saturday mornings buying seemingly random objects at yard sales and dollar stores. Her car trunk was full of…

She may have endured both but I seriously doubt she has the cognitive faculties to comprehend either. You could read her the entries in one of those "worst opening paragraph/bad Hemingway" writing contests and if she likes you, she'd think it was wonderful.

So the promo item for "The Simpsons" is…
… as perfunctory as the writing has been on that show for the past 10 years or so.

Who gives a fuck what music students at the University of Kentucky are buying or bought in the past, Christmas or not?

Yeah, because no one's ever referenced Star Wars in anything.

I love this guy's work and always have!
I rewatched "Robocop" recently and was amazed at how sympathetic he actually made Morton along with the usual dickishness. In my memory, he'd been much more of an asshole but 20 something years later I could appreciate the nuances Ferrer brought to the part. And he's just…

I usually get space fatigued…
… after I make shame-sauce.

Al Bean in "From the Earth to the Moon"
He was just really good in that episode. I saw that for the first time recently here in Japan and was surprised even to see Dave Foley in the cast. And he was just affable and charming as hell and made me really admire Al Bean himself. Just wanted to throw that out there.

Superboy's britches? Stay out of them, man!

Wow. I really passed that post.

And I'd like to pass a book. I don't know what I was thinking, eating it like that.

And I'd like to pass a book. I don't know what I was thinking, eating it like that.

Duck, I says.

Wait— which one is gay and which one is the Scientologist?

I guess you could say he likes "sex" with "men," if you know what I mean!

When I'm a little bored, I come to the Onion A/V Club and call people like you assholes. You asshole.