I don't get it, Lover. What's your talent?

Yeah, but if her voice had been any less, she would've totally deserved their initial sneerings. Right? RIGHT?!!

"America, are you not inspired?"
Did you throw down your sword and contemptuously spit in the dust after typing that? I hope so!

And yet…
… I am incapable of feeling this emotion you humans call "love."

"Survivor Type"
I enjoyed that short story the first time I read it, but the second time the whole thing fell apart for me. Not the premise— a guy eating himself is classic. It's just the idea that while eating himself, he's writing a diary about it… and the diary entries take the form of the kind of feverish…

They kind of sound like a gelatinous "whuuuhhhh-whuuuuhhhh." Except Mariah's. Hers kind of clatter against each other like cheap plastic costume jewelry.

I assume Mariah Carey's actual involvement with the making of this album to be minimal. Show up, sing the songs after her handlers teach them to her, appear in the videos, have her staff deposit the money in her various bank accounts.

And I mainly thank Immaculate Misconception for introducing me to a new word. Melisma. That's also something that annoys me about Mariah Carey and in relation to American Idol but before now I had no way to explain it without doing a really poor imitation. So thanks, IM!

What color was this boy? Aquamarine? Cornflower? Mauve? Vermillion? Navy Blue? Lime Green? Sea Mist? Silver?

Born brown?

My family= a group of really nice people I lived with for 18 years and still go home to visit during the holidays.

UGA had more…
… than just a "few half-hearted 'No Blood For Oil' rallies." We had the Peace Camp on North Campus. Remember that? Pretty successful, wasn't it?

No, no, no. Life is about hitting a square back and forth very slowly with a rectangle, in the dark.

Eyetalian Snowtire… Yes. For you, yes, I will!

Salty? Care to expand on that, or was that an adjective chosen strictly for alliterative purposes?

I find everything about III to be overblown to the point of self-parody. Except Sophia Coppola's performance, which is just generically bad. But as much as I love the first film and the second, I'm not about to get angry just because someone prefers III.

I don't get it. Everyone loves rats… but they don't want to drink the rats' milk?

The point's not the article. The point is to get you guys criticizing Amelie for not measuring up to your exacting standards of what she and her articles are supposed to be. And as such, this one more than adequately fulfills that mission.

Yeah, but you can buy a skin for your online avatar to do that.

I need to read this book!
My uncle had a brief stint with the Yankees near the end of his non-storied career. One spring training, my dad and at least one other uncle joined him, Mickey Mantle and Joe Pepitone for a night out. They ended up at a strip club getting a table dance. According to my dad, Joe Pepitone…