Don't fuck with my levels, I got 'em like I like 'em!

How could it not be the music store scene, that's actually him playing piano(!)

Migreen Peen!!

They should start a doo-wop group with Bobby Canavale and Brad Garret "we look similar, shoo-bop!"

ack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack

I LITERALLY stopped listening to SC months ago.

U-Turn…aw yeah I said it!

No. 1 Faux Pas While Trapped in a Small Space: wolf farts

That's a 3-day b'ard, I reckon

My name's Otto, I play Pablo.

Sorkin and Romney…at Tenagra!!

I heard that playing at Tacho Bach, while I was enjoying a Spicy Tocata

Zo'o he di'i'!

Al Gore invented caller ID in like 1985, how old are you dawg?

Mutant League, ugh

I remember some of those AlfTales being really funny at the time - Alf as Bob Dylan or Ted Koppel, etc. I found a DVD in a bargain bin, but either the show actually stunk, or those were its worst six episodes.

"—which also featured Soleil Moon Frye as the titular character—"
tit, huh? throwin' us softballs.

There's an alternate universe where The Riches is in season 8 and that Munsters remake never existed. And Martindale's role in the American's was played by Brad Garret in a housedress.

Melania gave Michael her number at tha club, but he washed it in his jeans pocket and only the name remained. Now he's asking out very Melanie in Chicago to find his dream lady…this fall on Mike Hunts Mels!

"Don't kill me! We can have pre-interview confidentiality! Just donate a dollar to PBS! You'll get a canvas tote!"