Blink 182
Like, seriously dude.

Withnail & I
"Don't threaten me with a dead fish".

That's as maybe, but the pub's off the tourist trail. More in the Media-Yuppie Disneyland part of Camden. Near Primrose Hill. Where the streets are littered with double-parked Ferraris driven by 25 year-old cunts called Tim who bray constantly into bluetooth headsets about script-tweaking and shagging posh birds…

There's a cracking Belgian strawberry white beer called Fruhli. Had it for the first time in some wanky gastro-pub pub called the Edinboro Castle in Camden. I got pumped to the tune of 9.00 for two pints, but jings, it's bloody good stuff.

Irn Bru is the nectar of the Gods.

similar how? in that they both involved nudity? how do you know? jamie lynn strikes me as more of a "panties to the side" in the back of a car kind of girl.

The bitterness
"Jamie-Lynn Spears: Striking, sad, very gross"

"if she didn't have the 'glamorous' ego of a gold plated horse cock".

there's something about her icy demeanor and porcelain complexion that makes me feel totally subjugated. it's like being an inmate of auschwitz and fantasizing wildly over eva braun. it's intensely erotic.

angst
every time i've read an interview with conor oberst i've gotten the impression that he's a lovely wee guy who struggles with the weight of the world. therefore i've tried desparately hard over the years to like bright eyes. so hard in fact that i completely destroyed my libido while trying to come to terms with…

Norse
You are modesty in a trilby/I'm the unconvinced prince of nothingness/Eating crabs in valhalla

To the victor…
I secured for myself a section of a sweat-soaked, red, silken shirt which was flung into the crowd at a show in Dundee, Scotland. I had to wrestle it from the clammy, desperate grasp of an underweight, un-married, bespectacled 40-something fanboy with hairy knuckles.

AN OFFERING
The Cops have got their hats on
In case their brains should boil
To keep the realism out
They've made them from tinfoil

…and so does my wife.

Hyperbole
I find journalism of this standard more offensive than Nazism.

THE TRUTH IS
I love this band. They make the times when I find myself on my knees, masturbating into a biscuit tin full of photographs of loved ones at Butlin's in 1987 seem so meaningful.