I plant wildflowers along lonely rural highways but don't tell anyone!

I'd fetter 'em. I'd fetter 'em good!

Exactly who is raping who in the picture above?!?

Kill the poor!

I have some but they all involve some amount of effort on the part of the populace so they'll never work.

Meanwhile Fannie Flagg waits patiently by the phone.

Dey all hos!

Put a shirt on!

Mmmmmmmm, Baklava!

I got distracted when they started talking about the figure skater's taint.

While the truth is he's just a mentally ill person who is continually humored by being placed into movie roles.

Needs more sodomy.

Melissa McCarthy?!?

His take on Titanic is the best part.

Damn, those guys are old!

I was thinking you'd need to add at least another zero at that point. This was after he'd been doing The Tonight Show for several years.

Not 'round here, sir.

How about the antler dance?!?

Nerdgasm!!!

The CEO of a company I used to work for saw him in his early days at some small club in the south. They became big fans and after the company went public they flew Leno out to entertain at the company Christmas party at the height of his Tonight Show fame. He came out and did a pretty standard stand-up set and spent…