It's by far the best movie in which Tom Hanks gets delirious after his method of conveyance sinks in the middle of the ocean. I also made out with the person who later became my spouse for the first time after watching this at a movie night. You're welcome for sharing.

The surliness of his flair filled the emptiness of my calm.

I was horrified for a moment before hilarity set in. My hat is off to you, sir.

Punctuation makes all the difference. I mean, who wouldn't go to to something called "Yahoo! Serious Festival!"

As long as the film is proceeded by a tie-up porno, I'm in!

I heard it was for a handful of magical mushy peas.

I hold out hope of the film's redemption via Hugh Jackman's bare chest.

And thou shalt know thy lover's always true,
From poems, ardent sighs, and balls of blue.

He's too fucking old. Boy, does it feel good to say that!

Letter-to-the-Editor Lector

I want to see Mario's movie and listen to Madame Psychosis's show. Though I could stand a few fewer grotesque descriptions of Helen Steeply tits and makeup. Fortunately Orin's fate more than made up for it… effing brilliant book. Best thing I read in 2007.

*smooch*
Dear AV Club,
I declare my undying devotion to you for bringing me both Gracie Allen and Pat Paulson in the same day. Yours in uncharacteristic sincerity,
MRF

Of course there's a documentary
"Smothered" is a highly entertaining (loads of clips) documentary on what the Smothers Brothers got away with (pot references galore) and what they didn't (making light of Christianity, having Pete Seeger and Joan Baez on their show).

Ugh
I have an acting career because my father was a producer. I mastered my English accent halfway through shooting "Emma." I have made a career out of being expertly lit and eyebrow acting. I am enormously proud of my superficial understanding of the cultures or schools of thought I claim to espouse. You want to be…

and she personally swatted four malaria-carrying mosquitoes.

I'm totally seeing that, provided Kiera Knightley and Bill Nighy are in it.

That's it, I'm joining the postmodernists' game of Duck Duck Goose/Grey Duck. And someone tell the playground monitor that My Name is John McCain is skipping out of writing his assigned "I will not pander to a base that won't vote for me anyway" on the blackboard.

You can join the rest of us cautious optimists on the monkey bars.

And don't forget all the endorsement opportunities sequels offer!

FTW Isis.