Dear Costner: just hitch a ride on the next project the people that made Hatfields & McCoys do. they seem to know how to make you look like a brilliant actor somehow. goats, my guess is they sacrifice goats.

because of extenuating circumstances?

16 billion for an app that does something that email has been doing for free for years. this after paying 2 billion for a photo filter.

okay, then who's the hipster up there latching onto the ironic bowtie trend?

thus ensuring repeat airings after SNL on Saturday nights?

TV MA

well, futurist Ray Kurzweil has set a date for when he'll get a fleeting bit of publicity by exploiting a popular movie at least.

Old Fashioned… Lynching Of Your Colored Neighbor To Preserve Property Values

no, Whip It is a triffle, a novelty song with little to say, and what it does say it doesn't say very artfully. Devo is a band that has alot to say, and a smart, artful way of saying it. so Whip It represents Devo poorly, and should never have been the one song everybody thinks of when they think of Devo.

it's worse than the "I ate the bones!" campaign. the "I ate the bones!" campaign was stupid, sure, but it was also pretty harmless. it wasn't attempting to normalize eating chicken bones. this new campaign is trying to instill in viewers the idea that a 20 piece bucket is equal to a home cooked meal. I could give a…

Jesus wants his fucking WHISTLE

so then you might know the answer to something I've often wondered: what is the method by which they determine the accuracy of their techniques? like, do they practice of cadaver skulls, and then compare the results with photographs of the person in life? and if so, what kind of margin of error are we talking about?

the secret of Devo: their songs are about normal people, written from the perspective of aliens and/or the alienated. it's sociologycore!

QUICK, NO ONE SLAP THEM ON THEIR BACKS SO THAT THEIR FACES STAY THAT WAY FOREVER!

come on, that grin has to be artistic license.

I've sold art either to google, or to someone who works at google and had it mailed to his work. if the former, then I guess in the the most technical sense possible I have worked for Google for the time I made that art. so I feel I should warn you: sexual harassment policy enforcement is very lax. this guy that…

NO, WE DEMAND FRESH MATERIAL AT EVERY PERFORMANCE!!! THAT'S WHY WE PAY YOU THE BIG— what's that? we don't pay him anything? oh, well then nevermind.

I'd just like to say that I've had enough of KFC's selfie ad campaign. first there was the mother that was AMAZED that she was able to get her kids to clean their plate when she brought home KFC. really? you brought home fast food and your kids liked it?! QUICK, CALL THE NOBEL PRIZE COMMITTEE, THIS CHANGES…

you got me, you exposed my secret shame!

not to be greedy, but do you have a story where tragedy befalls that flaky girl? cause after reading that I'm really mad at this person I've never met, and I want her to get her comeuppance.