here's my theory on why men are attracted to lesbians: it's like watching kittens wrestle. they're cute as hell, and all soft and cuddly, and you wish that somehow you could get in on that, and be wrestling with them. but you know if you tried they'd just scamper off in different directions, and you wouldn't even be…

THIS JUST IN: Florida unable to decide whether or not it's okay to murder black teenagers for the heinous crime of playing loud music.

I don't claim to be a pro. subtle distinction, I know…

if it had enough Margaret Cho would you have said "Cho 'nuff"?

are we conversing only in questions here?

"The most biggest downside to narrative-driven programing…"

I found the Train Dodging event particularly surprising.

the real answer: he had a very attractive head of hair at one point, and coasted that into that sweet, sweet Today Show gig juuuuuuuuust in time for it to start falling out.

I find it disturbing how blithely your generation divorces content from the experience as a whole.

I'm revoking your right to use Ronnie James Dio as your avatar.

hold me.

seconded.

I hope Jodie dumps him for wasting characters on saying he didn't know how many characters he could use.

if they want to get me interested in biathalon, or any shooting event, then they're going to have to mic those guns. cause "click" is just not a very exciting sound for a rifle to make.

classified ad? is that still a thing?

I don't care what anybody else thinks, I'm exceedingly proud of this joke!

"Bethenny’s fate was more or less sealed when nobody knew who Bethenny Frankel was, or that she had a talk show."

*Spike Lee angrily tweets Abe Vigoda's address*

here's the thing: you can't have cool without risk. without risk nothing is cool. no one who doesn't take risks is cool. rock is built upon the idea of cool, and rock is supposed to be dangerous. going to a rock who is supposed to be at least marginally risky. you could get robbed. you could get punched. you could…

Orange Juice Is The New Black Coffee?