what, no KFC Yum! Center?

SO YOU WANNA BE A RAP SUPERSTAR
TWEET LARGE, BIG HATE,
ON DEAD STARS, YOU IN CHARGE!
COMIN' UP IN THE WORLD
DON'T STEP ASIDE FOR NO DEADY
GOTTA BE ON THE ROLLING STONE COVER CONSTANTLY!

"FUCK IT, EAT IT LIVE!"

the only way you'll get me to use your superfluous u's is if yoos guys stick u's in my cold, dead mouth!

called it.

can I just say those slick nylon raincoat hoods like he's wearing are just absofuckinglutely useless? the second there's even the slightest breeze the hoods blow off your head. hell, the sheer motion of turning your head is enough to throw em off! you gotta cinch up that little cord til you look like a penis head…

the cause of death (drowning in a flood) always struck me as suspicious.

I love Melissa McCarthy, and I don't care who knows it! all's ya'll haters best go drink your hateraide and eat hateato chips while playing Hate Trick on you Hateari console, while the movie Hateari plays on your Hateachi televisions!

everybody says that China is going to be the biggest player in 21st century geopolitics. nah, currency manipulation can only get you so far. rather, as the icecaps melt Canada and Russia are going to find themselves with the most access to the most coveted new trade route. couple that with the vast oil reserves of…

a pretty much universally beloved actor dies of drug overdose, and they give him the cover at the last minute as a memorial tribute. is that really the hill you want to die on, Drake?

Abbi is right about sandwiches.

you're late on the Broad City review, and now I'm sitting here doing brain kegels in order to keep my mind off it.

here in Portland we wisely chose to have our snowstorm over the weekend. see, when you're as accustomed to having maybe a half an inch of snow one day a year that last a couple of hours before melting, and then maybe a real, honest to goodness couple of inches that sticks around for a few days once ever five years,…

Chappelle would be a better host for The Tonight Show, because you wouldn't have to worry about him muscling the Late Night host out in order to stay at his desk for a few more years. if anything the trouble would be keeping him from quitting!

everyone felt the same way when Fallon took over. and while he never did really win me over (because I had become a loyal Ferguson viewer, and every time I tried to watch the Fallon show he was doing some cheesy drinking game sans drinks with college students) he seemed to earn a good deal of respect in his short time…

pretty sure cold fisting is illegal in Russia.

"in the midnight hour, she cried more, more, more
with a rebel yell, she cried more, more, more…"

Rise Against Mefirst And The Gimme Gimmes!

you've posted three comments on this page, ranging between angry and frothing-at-the-mouth angry. if you're not careful you're going to give yourself a heart attack.

*sigh* I'm not going to have this stupid argument that you seem bent on having with me yet again. my sincerest apologies if my practice of neglecting to capitalize my sentences causes you such great physical and mental distress. but it's your problem, not mine.