just remember: he spent thousands of dollars on a law degree he only used for five years. so by all mean take his legal advice, but be wary of his financial advice.

what the fuck??? do they realize that some of us kinda rely on this column to let us know, like, WHAT'S ON TONIGHT?!

take a shot every day the Grammys aren't on!

only if you're rich.

if anyone's up for a drinking game, take a shot every time LL Cool J is seen licking his lips. anyone not dead from alcohol poisoning by the halfway mark will be declared the winner, and be given an all-expense paid trip to rehab!

her appearance on the Craig Fergussen show a few months back, she seemed several sheets to one wind or another.

if I wanted that I'd just get regular briefs, which wouldn't have the annoying skin tight thigh part.

that only translates to Spanish and Japanese, and American English.

IN VERBOSE THREATS AND ALMOST-RHYMES THAT COMBINE A NATIONALITY PLUS MADE-UP WORDS, WHICH MAKES THE FAILURE TO RHYME ALL THE MORE FRUSTRATING!!!

is anybody in a more advanced time zone able to tell me if the Lizzy Borden movie starring Christina Ricci that's playing on lifetime in an hour is any good?

I don't get boxer briefs. just seems like the worst of both worlds to me.

ARRRRRR, ye scurvies, Cap'n Hyperbolic's got a peg penis, he does!

wouldn't it be easier just to say:

is this where we comment on your privates?

only until you realize that they're just being passive-aggressive.

if the poling is to believed, the pleasure of being childless is greater than the pleasure of raising a child. add to that the satisfaction of a more environmentally life choice (I think we can all agree that nothing is worse for the environment than more people), PLUS drugs? now that's happiness!

interest in this thread is flagging because of all the false claims of false flagging false flag comments.

FLAGGED FOR FALSE FLAGGING!!

OUTSIDE OF SOCIETY… is about as much of this Patti Smith song I can quote the lyrics of without getting autoflagged.

it's pronounced Downv'tn Abbey!!!