Bacon and tomato are toppings that are good on burgers/sandwiches in theory, but in practice they are just horrible. They can get all floppy, wet and fall victim to the onion ring constant where you take a bite and the whole thing comes out.

For American fast-food Meixcan, it's Del Taco. Always Del Taco, much better than Taco Bell. If I'm incredibly wasted and it's late at night? Jack in the Box tacos, they're completely disgusting but are a godsend to drunks and stoners.

Carne asada (or any meat really, I go with carnitas) fries are great, the nachos version are even better.

At least Luca was likable and had this kind of dopey charm about him. Cutter? Other than this stereotypical All-American thing, he has jack shit going for him.

Five Guys is the kind of place you eat at if you want to hate yourself. The toppings are nice but when you get down to it, the meat patty itself is just incredibly bland. And lets not forget the calorie/sodium bomb that their fries are. Go there once to say you've tried it and never return. You'll be happier for it.

You and I have differing opinions on lettuce, I love me the shredded stuff. Adds a nice texture to it and covers the burger more evenly than a wedge, which can get unwieldy.

There's perfectly nothing wrong with that, why, there's something called a California Burrito where french fries stuffed into that! And people make and buy burgers with potato chips as a toppings! THE SKY (or the amount you can open your mouth) IS THE LIMIT!

NOT A HOAX! NOT A DREAM! NOT AN IMAGINARY TALE! IT’S…

It would probably be best to review Gravity Falls in-line with its airing on Disney XD rather than have that gap between episodes two and three. Always go with the technical! Unless going with the technical sucks, then don't go with it but in this case do!

Why is Chris D'Elia a thing—other than him being an actual thing? The man is unfunny and just oozes creepiness (among other oozable things).

What…What?! WHAT?!!? I only have but one reaction to that: https://www.youtube.com/wat…

So I shouldn't get my hopes up for a Singled Out revival anytime soon?

A fun Joe? Is such a thing even possible? Surely you jest!

Ever since IASP, I like to imagine the Penguin was just an incredibly-feral Frank.

Here's hoping that Disney won't fuck around with it's schedule like they did last season. I mean, they probably will but a man can dream.

So out of boredom I started watching the first few episodes of Restaurant Start-Up on CNBC that features Tim Love and Joe Bastianich investing in potential restaurants a la Shark Tank/Dragon's Den. It's an okay show, there are certainly worse ways to waste time.

It continues to surprise me that TV Land actually has original program. It used to be the place I go to for MASH reruns! Now where will I go for my fix of Alan Alda yelling about a baby!? A baby!? A BABY!?! You son of a bitch, why did you make me remember that?

Surprisingly, Paulie's robot was not the worst thing about Rocky IV. I mean, it was probably the second worst thing but not THE worst thing.

You know, I've always liked Ron Livingston and it's a bit shocking that he hasn't been in a lot of things. Or at least a lot of popular stuff. Drinking Buddies was a pretty decent flick and Standoff was an okay procedural!

If all else fails just get DJ 3000 to do it. https://vimeo.com/18516240