I once left a baseball game I was playing in because, if I didn't, I would have killed one of the umpires with two baseball bats while laughing insanely.

I once left a baseball game I was playing in because, if I didn't, I would have killed one of the umpires with two baseball bats while laughing insanely.

"There's someone in the FRUIT CELLAR! Someone with a fresh SOUUUUUUUUUUUL!"

"There's someone in the FRUIT CELLAR! Someone with a fresh SOUUUUUUUUUUUL!"

I would be Wierzbowski. Cocooned immediately while people scream my shouldn't-be-in-a-movie last name.

I would be Wierzbowski. Cocooned immediately while people scream my shouldn't-be-in-a-movie last name.

HEY YEAH BISHOP SHOULD GO GOOD IDEA

HEY YEAH BISHOP SHOULD GO GOOD IDEA

I prefer Demitri Circuitous Umpr.

I prefer Demitri Circuitous Umpr.

If you want to watch a creepy guy in clown makeup stand around breathing, I'm available for birthday parties.

If you want to watch a creepy guy in clown makeup stand around breathing, I'm available for birthday parties.

I hope you said that like Kent Brockman.

I hope you said that like Kent Brockman.

Rules and Eligibility for the Academy Awards

Rules and Eligibility for the Academy Awards

I like how he included "wreckage", "destroyed" and "sinking" to really paint a picture of how badly damaged that battleship really was.

I like how he included "wreckage", "destroyed" and "sinking" to really paint a picture of how badly damaged that battleship really was.

That line fell flatter than Obama's "spilled milk" joke in the State of the Union.

That line fell flatter than Obama's "spilled milk" joke in the State of the Union.