I always thought Jackson and April were cute together but April doing the army doctor thing was the beginning of the end for me. Their whole divorce storyline was so contrived—do better, Shonda! I would be so stunned if they weren't endgame considering how many fans they have, but I would have said the same thing…

I liked Maggie and Deluca as characters best when they were together. I didn't realize it at the time, because I was mostly like, "Oh yeah, they're cute enough," but I had no idea how irritating and/or boring both of their storylines were capable of being…

For a moment there I wondered if Shonda was going to kill Jackson—ever since Jesse Williams started divorcing his wife among all those Minka Kelly rumors I've wondered if he would be the latest in the long line of men getting kicked off Shonda's shows for doing dumb shit in their personal life. I'm pretty neutral on…

Rami Malek in The Pacific is everything. "I scrub drums for NO man!"

Cargo shorts are ugly but on their own I'm not going to immediately feel the urge to run away from you. Cargo shorts with a messenger bag, however, is a deadly combination that immediately puts you in the "m'lady" danger zone and should be avoided at all costs.

Happy Valley is on US Netflix and is a wonderful show, my favorite of all of the highfalutin crime shows that have popped up over the past few years (Broadchurch might have been my favorite if season two had even remotely held up to season one). Sarah Lancashire is amazing and heartbreaking and just so, so good in the…

I was never much of a Jackson/April hater because I'm a sicko who loves "parents of dead children" plots…up until the whole "April is an Army doctor now!" thing, which is one of my least favorite plots this show has ever done. Everything about them has been so awful since, though I'm hoping they'll finally just get…

I unabashedly love a whole lot of pop music bullshit but Ed Sheeran is too far even for me. I feel like this is Game of Thrones giving me permission to finally give up on it once and for all.

I don't think Shape of You is particularly sexist, but "Don't" might as well be the Nice Guy anthem and Ed Sheeran will forever be dead to me because of that (but mostly because of the rapping…dear god the rapping.)

The early cycles are some true early 2000s reality TV gems that would never see the light of day in 2017 and I LOVE it. There is something beautifully, spectacularly perverse about a show that has the contestant with bulimia to pose as gluttony in the seven deadly sins photoshoot. Not to mention, "You know, some…

Holy shit this season has been terrible. Season twelve was overall one of the strongest seasons Grey's has had in a long time—what the hell happened?

I've had a Spike magnet on my fridge for the past fifteen years or so. The older I get the more I appreciate why people don't love Spike…but I'm always going to fucking love Spike. "Out for a walk…bitch."

Shonda Rhimes has cited Buffy as an influence and that's clear to me particularly in Grey's Anatomy, where the dialogue in the lighter moments can get close to the Buffy rhythm. Shonda's shows, though obviously EXTREMELY imperfect, have been some of the few to emulate one of Buffy's greatest strengths, which is that…

This season is going to be even better than season 4 of only because we no longer have to deal with Keri Russell's magical pregnancy-hiding indoor coats.

Nobody is better than Matthew Rhys at barely masking feelings of contempt under a weak smile, and he's never better at it than when Phil is dealing with sadsack Stan.

As soon as he popped up out of the shadows I thought, "Aw, nice to see that Hans is still around." Or not.

I read this script when I was an abused intern working for a production company and it featured a climactic scene where Bubbles rips Michael's prosthetic nose off as well as a long digression demonstrating how all of the kids who accused Michael Jackson of molestation were really just looking for a quick payday…so…

I was on Vyvanse and Klonopin from ages 15 to 18 and yet everybody was so surprised when I had a complete meltdown the second I got to college…

Carrie was a true icon to all of us women who aspire to give zero fucks. Catastrophe was such a perfect fit for her in that respect. Man, I didn't even realize how unbelievably fucking sad this would make me until it happened. What a shitty goddamn world we live in.

I feel this way specifically to hurt you.