I have noticed that human children sometimes become taller as they age. Is this normal? Also, Brian was supposedly on Real Time with Bill Maher, but my channel guide said it was Family Guy! What gives?!

"Is it Black Michael Chiklis?"
"Is it White George Foreman?"
"Those are the same guy! His name is Donald, he's biracial, and he's a person!"

Followed by "The Dark Knight Rinses."

He did six months in Chino for exposing his serum tube to an 8 year-old.

Wait a minute, LetEnglandShake, are you saying that:
A. You left an alcoholic beverage unfinished.
and
B. You reached your limit after 3 drinks?
I want to kick your fucking ass so bad right now.

It's despicable, the way Hollywood makes New York seem like the safest and friendliest place in the world!
[FULL DISCLOSURE: I have never seen a movie or TV show.]

What irresponsible monster gave a 13 year-old a mountain of blow?

If Brenz is to be believed (and I think we all agree that he is), then we have our confirmation:
THE KARDASHIANS SUCK ASS.

Being in Superman Returns happened to Brandon Routh.
Granted, it's a bit of a self-fulfilling curse, but a curse nonetheless.

Could you name some specific commercials that are better than Crank 2? As that was a pretty strong statement, I'm going to need a number of examples.

Bob's Burgers is definitely filling some of the KOTH-shaped hole in my heart, but the writing has a ways to go to catch up to the level of the voice talent.

"You, sir, are part of history. In the sense that you are alive during a given point in time."

But I thought
Tyler Durden/Jack was supposed to be the grown up version of Ferris Bueller/Cameron.

Moleman, just so they can include the line, "It's like kissing a peanut!"

Homercles cares not for beans!

This pornography is infinitely excellent. This dresser, however, is very boring.

I know I'm not a misogynist, because my judgements of women don't focus on their appearance or sexuality. I just think they shouldn't be allowed to vote or learn to read.

Make 'em say "Uhhhh!"
UHHHH!!!
Nahnatchka Khan!
NAHNATCHKA KHAN!!!

Plug it up! Plug it up!

Just add Donald Glover in there somewhere, and it would give me the weirdest boner.