When I lost the little bionic implant on my Six Million Dollar Man action figure, I wrote to Kenner and they sent me a whole new arm. Now that's customer service.

I guess I must have seen at least one episode of Joe Schmo 2, because I definitely remember the falcon.

In case you missed it, we are indeed going weekly with Joe Schmo coverage. Pat yourselves on the back.

No chance it's unobtainium?

No, I mean Sean Ryan, my cable guy, who makes it all possible.

No, I mean Sean Ryan, my cable guy, who makes it all possible.

Huh. I could have sworn he was undercover somewhere in Central America in that Sam Axe TV-movie. I must be thinking of something else.

Huh. I could have sworn he was undercover somewhere in Central America in that Sam Axe TV-movie. I must be thinking of something else.

I know! What happened to CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES guy this week?

I know! What happened to CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES guy this week?

I know, I just thought it was really cool and futuristic-looking, and they probably should have stuck around for a full episode.

I know, I just thought it was really cool and futuristic-looking, and they probably should have stuck around for a full episode.

Someone did piss in my cereal this morning, but since I wrote and posted the review last night, that had no bearing on my opinion of the episode.

Or something. I watched it on a tiny screen.

Or something. I watched it on a tiny screen.

I'll never tell.

I'll never tell.

Probably. She's all growed up.

Probably. She's all growed up.

I just meant that Berenger's performance here would have fit in nicely on Deadwood, a better show on all accounts. I don't know that he ever wanted anything to do with it.