Brevity… is wit.

I think the problem was that they had a stonehenge monument that was in danger of being trampled… by a dwarf!

The Rick Rolls are not what they seem.

It was the Summer of '89.

[singing]
I am the very model of a Guinan gynecologist
I've inserted my entire arm from shoulder all the way to fist
I've trekked so deep in darkness that it seems there's no way out of this
localized black hole or anatomical apocalypse
before you get offended you should speak to my apologist
an expert that I have employed…

[up up down down left right left right b a start]
In the game of thrones, you cheat code or you die.

I like my coffee with strategic marketing alliances with women like I like my women who agree to form strategic alliances with hoity-toity coffee chains: uh, I want to "go out for coffee" or "make a strategic alliance" with Annie Clark some time.

I thought we weren't supposed to have names.

I don't know, I kind of prefer my space fantasies to be more fanciful.

I don't like shattered glass. It's transparent and sharp and ouchie and it gets everywhere.

#BringBackDownvotes

Your opinion is wizard!

I suggest calling it "Lobot's Revenge!"
#BringBackLobot

Their stock value could go into free fall.

#BringBackLobot

I think it's less a comical story about air travel than it is a valuable lesson in how not to be a twat. Which makes your comment pret-ty ironic.

Rock over London, rock on Chicago.
Walgreens: the pharmacy America trusts!

That happened with someone who survived both Hiroshima and Nagasaki. He died a few years ago.

I thought the part where they were wading through the blood was the funniest part, with Elmo's request to smell genitals the only bit to actually make me laugh.

Fuck "incentivizing." Use "providing incentives for" or "encouraging" instead, please.