I am actually pausing the recording of this episode during Patrick's microphone rant (at the Agustin part) because it is so painful to watch. So far this episode is an A, purely because Groff is really fearlessly showing Patrick at his worst. I hope the last seven minutes of the episode are as good.

I don't agree that Zoey has been underdeveloped nor that this was her first spotlight episode. She's actually one of my favorite semi-bitchy teenage girls on TV.

OK, two days post-airing, and no one's said it yet, so I will: Mama Salvatore is AGENT HOTNESS!

Line of the night: "I leave you alone for one minute, you got some boy-child up in here sniffing your drawers."

I think Caroline acknowledged their unpleasant past in that first scene between them when she shut down his attempts at pre-funeral bonding. She just didn't say it out loud.

Well, Caroline basically ordered them to use their powers (compulsion and speed, I'm guessing) to pull off five days of funeral prep in a single day.

And more cops than you've ever seen before. I wonder who the new chief is going to be, now that Matt has taken a turn for the Jason Stackhouse?

"Also, didn't Stefan and Damon turn into vamps in the 1860s/70s? Why was their mother trapped in 1903?"

I get the feeling that Jamal was supposed to be the Cordelia/Krystle (or Steven) in this Dynasty/Lear analogy, but they seem reluctant to commit to that. I can see why.

You mean the Krystle-Alexis dynamic.

Recently of The Originals.

You mean they should have brought American Sniper into it?

Believe me, I didn't want to rewatch it. I have a screener and a couple of friends wanted to see it before the awards. They found it super-long too. Thankfully I didn't have to stay in the room the whole time.

Try watching it again, as I did last night. Ouch.

1. Birdman
2. Whiplash / Selma / Grand Budapest Hotel
5. The Imitation Game
6. Boyhood / Theory of Everything
8. American Sniper

Please God no.

You don't need to see it, and you'll never get those 165 minutes back if you do.

Those assholes are right (except for bringing American Sniper into it).

1) Anyone who thinks there is no clear frontrunner in Best Actress has no idea about how the Oscars work…this year or any year.

Okay. I wasn't really responding to the quality of the recording, just the arrangement itself, which I liked but didn't consider to be an appropriate vehicle for Courtney Love's character. Then again, we haven't yet heard what she sounded like when she was the savior of Empire.