There is a killer shrew movie.  They used friendly dogs wrapped up in something like shag rugs.  

God help me, I can see this one.

Afraid so, Burl, but it's always good to see you again.  Don't be a stranger.

Atlas Sharked.  People feed themselves to sharks rather than listen to Randians.

Sharknado 2:  Remora Breaks

Me, too.  I thought he was an amalgam of all the writers, just their best bits collected under one name.

If they're breaded and fried, then yes, I will.

So is Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, which they call The News Quiz.  It's been on so long that they've buried the first two hosts.

Exactly.  I believe the tagline (I couldn't find it on youtube) was something like "because you'll believe anything."

Wiseman would probably disagree as well.

You're not wrong there.  Once upon a time I was accepted into an electrician's training course, all fees paid, and I passed it up.  Dumbest choice of that decade, possibly, though it was also the decade that I left NY for TX, so on second thought, probably not.

Yeah, Snidely, and I try to get up by 6am Saturdays to hear the show.  The alternative is a daily short garden spot by a man who's never met a chemical he didn't love to recommend.
One of my cousins was really hot for a weed killer that, it turns out, is closely related to Agent Orange, enough so that my cousin now has…

Jewish Brad Pitt—perhaps the young 'uns were switched in their incubators?

I had a moment of glory when I realized that a couple of yuppies had gotten burned on a pre-Columbian artifact before the expert even started telling them they'd been had.
It was a wooden carving of a man on a horse.  Before Columbus, Jack—no horses in the Americas.
Zing!

Bob Saget as Mr. Tanner or gtfo.

That's not it at all.  It's the office workers who sincerely believe that hard labor is somehow good exercise that will keep you happy and healthy whereas office work is so damnably hard that it shortens the office worker's life.  You will find no shortage of middle-management types who somehow think that driving a…

Saturday Night Live did the razor thing decades ago, and it came to pass.

If only the Meet the Tanners clip had cameos by Dave Coulier and John Stamos, it would be perfect.

Sounds like East Texas.
Back when I was unloading UPS trucks, the inside of the trucks could get as high as 120º in late afternoon.  Fukken brutal.  I'd drink as much as I could hold at the water fountain and then sweat it all out in 20 minutes.

If it's that stale, it's perfect for composting.