Calumet City. The Mos Eisley of the Chicago Metro area. Pray for Smeagol.

And also covered in tomato sauce.

(Psst, please don't tell my wife that I upvoted this. She's from the South Side.)

Cut off his buoys.

No. The braids help her forehead not look like an abandoned drive-in movie screen.

Chicago is such a wretched hive of scum and villainy.

And that's how she got the nickname "Hump Day"

Fuck this THREE THOUSAND TIMES

And Microsoft's ____________.

He did Nine-Ereven

"And my friend here would like a parsel tongue on rye."

Yeah. That would be like me going to County Cavan and burning down a bunch of micks' houses because Oliver Cromwell was an asshole 400 years ago.

Almost, but it should be ASIANS ROVE LOOT BEEL.

It's possible to not give a shit about either side in their pointless dispute over land supposedly deeded to them by their respective, non-existent gods.

Herschel Potter and the Golem of Fire

I have never seen this show because my love for Ron Funches is soundly beaten by my distaste for Chris D'Elia.

Let's see what the nerdlingers at iTunes Shuffle HQ have in store for me…

You should listen to his creepy drowned wife song during cooldown.

It was both of them, but admittedly it was a much harder task for Il Duce to accomplish.

Conservatives love trains, see their devotion for Atlas Shrugged.