You'll Be Shocked to Learn the Connection Between Ukuleles and Mass Murder!

I visited Maui a few years back and visited a couple of uke factories. They had some beautiful 8-string koa ukes inlaid with mother of pearl, and they rang like angel harps.

Money talks, bullshit walks.

I prefer a nice koa wood ukulele over a mandolin, but a number of popular songs over the past few years have lessened my enjoyment of it a bit. But it's still great for noodling out some sweet jazz progressions.

I think the paranoia is a result of a mixture of improved hearing (due to the capillary dilation in your ears), and the tendency for your dopamine-boosted brain to try and make patterns out of everything.

"Xennials?"

That's how YouTube started out.

Stay away from that fucking Sour Diesel, even if a rap star name drops it.

I guess because of the previous weed culture of guys sitting around and watching cartoons while high, that "come like a freight train" effect isn't an established part of the mythology, true as it is.

Always remember to bring a towel.

It's metal.

"And that, your Honor, explains all the child pornography on my hard drive."

If you want to get your money's worth!

We got cash up the ass.

Edibles are a crapshoot.

Give it to the people begging on the freeway offramps.

Perfect paranoia is perfect awareness.

"Emotionally unavailable," my ass.

We also discovered early on that Dave was, in fact, not there, but was the person actually knocking on the door.

Weed used to be cool and dangerous, man. Now it's just a bunch of old people with sore feet.