Social progress is achieved when the people who do not believe what you believe die off.

FYI, in real life, I'm better looking than him. I have a stronger chin, and I can cut paper with my cheekbones these days.

Counting down to revelations of his sexual misconduct in…
5… 4… 3…

Sure. Wives kill a man's soul.

Maybe she'll be cast in an Adam Sandler movie!

Queens is just a borough, and not even a real city.

IT'S NEWS, DAMMIT!

It's hard to imagine just how differently people think in the world.

"Please accept my LinkedIn endorsement."

Call the Time Cops.

Whoever works on his pores does a helluva job.

That's old school.

Dear President Trump.

I also understand that he is the World's Greatest Dad!

He's so rich, he has his lawn mowed by Jews.

It has nearly 100 percent less children being eaten by alligators.

That's what a rich guy looks like.

He just didn't seem too bright. If you look at any other captains, they know the ship inside out and often come up with some clever way to get out of their fix, and often tell their subordinates how to accomplish it. Captain Archer just kind of huffed around.

You've already dealt with what are essentially (or literally) gods. How much more advanced can they get?

Better Kill Bill