It's ok, it's ok, there's good news here too- we can flip this into a comments section that busts on Joss Whedon instead!

Yeah, sheesh, I had no idea that had happened. That's awful.

I had to read like 5 different articles to figure out what the fuck the orb (hereinafter stylized as "The Orb") actually was. As near as I can tell, it's…just a glowing orb, with no greater purpose to its existence than to glow roundly.

I call him "Colin Firtht" and he calls me "Oh god it's you again, get out of my house get ouuuuuut!"

It had something for everyone! Action! Romance! Boats! Science Fiction! Dragons! Boats!

Capitalism's been around for a while, actually.

And yet somehow my Boaty McBoatface spec script has been laughed out of every studio in Hollywood.

"Sean! Sean! Jerome here, from InfoWars. Does the president have an opinion on Tammi-with-an-I's ascension to Homecoming Queen now that Tammy-with-a-Y has been caught buying Spice with a fake ID from the bad 7-Eleven?"

That does happen, but not until the very end. You never learn his "real" name prior to that.

"I'm gonna be on TV, gotta come up with a real cool look. Ok, hm, how about…a white Mickey Mouse t-shirt tucked into high-waisted stonewash jeans? Oh yeah, that is my jam! God I'm gonna get so much tail."

Don't Do What Donnie Don't Does!

Just squeeze your rage into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time. Like that day I hit the referee with a whiskey bottle. Remember that, when daddy hit the referee?

Yeah, whenever they publish FCC complaints regarding some tv show or whatever, it's never "there was not enough nudity in this prime-time event television broadcast!" although that does give me an idea.

Facebook is also okay with “handmade” art that involves nudity, but “digitally made art” is not permitted.

Sure, but maybe that'll happen here. Or maybe the player is the cops, a US Marshal or something. I just don't think it's inherently unbelievable to set an action game in the US, especially in an area as generally remote as most of Montana.

I mean, they set Grand Theft Auto games in America and nobody seems to mind, so what's the difference here?

In what sense? Anywhere can be exotic if you're from somewhere else.

"They all do that, sir."

I always liked how goofy a plot-point that was in the Brendan Fraser Mummy- "we wanted this guy to suffer for his crimes, so we made him immortal and gave him really unbelievably amazing superpowers."

Honestly, they should just pay out to Marvel itself and get the rights to the old Tomb of Dracula book, where the premise was basically just watch Dracula be completely fucking amazing while all the "heroes" utterly fail to kill him.